Monday, August 01, 2005
Classic Dilbertisms
- Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
- I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either.
- Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.
- Accept that some days you are the pigeon and some days the statue.
- Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time, chances are you won't be needing him again.
- I DON'T HAVE AN ATTITUDE PROBLEM, YOU HAVE A PERCEPTION PROBLEM.
- My reality cheque bounced.
- On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
- Never argue with idiots. They drag you down to their level, and then beat you with experience.
- A pat on the back is only a few inches from a kick in the butt.
- After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.
- The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.
- If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.
- When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.
- Following the rules will not get the job done.
- Only the mediocre are at their best all the time.
- There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.
- If at first you don't succeed......skydiving isn't for you.
- Life is a waste of time; time is a waste of life, so get wasted all of the time and have the time of your life.
- When everything is coming your way......you're in the wrong lane.
